I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
