you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize