i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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