people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
not ubering you a puppy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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