she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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