Plan B is the new Plan A
i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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