i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
