what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
