girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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