3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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