Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
