hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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