We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
