I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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