i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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