Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want nice things and good sex
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
