i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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