the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
