I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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