One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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