So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
