I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
