ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
