Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
