Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
