dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
