you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
