No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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