i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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