I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
