Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
