Nicole vs. Life
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
this boner is exhausting
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
