Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
