So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
