She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
