How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
