He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
