To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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