can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
