The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
