The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
