how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
