well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
