I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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