Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
