Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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