Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
