just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
