You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
