if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
