I understand Curling. That high.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
