Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize