The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
