I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize