do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
